Signposting to Therapeutic Support
Finding safe, trauma-informed help for you and your children.
Domestic abuse, coercive control and system trauma take a deep toll on your mind, body and nervous system. Children often carry the impact in their behaviour, sleep, health and learning.
Therapeutic support can help you and your children begin to process what has happened — but only if it is safe, trauma-informed and understands abuse dynamics.
This page explains the types of therapeutic support available, what to look for, and how 1VAA can signpost you to services that work alongside your safeguarding needs.
We do not provide therapy ourselves. We help you find and choose
Why Therapeutic Support Matters
Abuse is not “just in the past” when the bruises fade or the relationship ends. It can affect:
- Your ability to sleep, concentrate and make decisions
- Your confidence and sense of worth
- Your parenting — especially when you are constantly in fight/flight mode
- Your child’s behaviour, learning, friendships and health
- Your trust in professionals and systems
Good therapeutic support can:
- Help stabilise your nervous system
- Give you tools to cope with court, social care and ongoing contact
- Support your child to express feelings safely
- Reduce shame and self-blame
- Rebuild a sense of safety and hope
Types of Therapeutic Support
Support can come in many forms. Some examples include:
- Individual counselling / psychotherapy – for adults or older children
- Play therapy or creative therapies – often used with younger children
- Domestic abuse specialist counselling – provided by DA services
- Family therapy – where appropriate and safe
- Group support – survivor groups, domestic abuse groups, parenting after abuse
- Trauma-focused therapies – for complex trauma and PTSD (e.g. EMDR, TF-CBT)
What is suitable will depend on your situation, your child’s age and needs, and safety considerations.
What to Look For in a Therapist or Service
When choosing therapeutic support, look for:
- Trauma-informed practice – they understand trauma, triggers and nervous system responses
- Domestic abuse awareness – including coercive control, post-separation abuse and system abuse
- Child safeguarding awareness – they understand risk and how to respond appropriately
- Non-collusive approach – they do not minimise abuse or push unsafe contact “for peace”
- Respectful, non-judgmental attitude – you feel safe, believed and heard
- Clear boundaries and confidentiality – including when they may need to share information for safeguarding
You are allowed to ask direct questions about their experience with domestic abuse and child trauma before you commit.
Questions You Can Ask a Therapist or Service
Some questions you might ask in an initial contact or assessment:
- “Do you have experience working with survivors of domestic abuse and coercive control?”
- “How do you approach cases where there is an ongoing court case or social care involvement?”
- “Have you worked with children who are in contact with an abusive parent?”
- “What is your policy on safeguarding and sharing information?”
- “Will my therapy notes be shared with anyone else? If so, when and how?”
- “What should I expect from sessions and how long do you usually work with people?”
Their answers should help you decide whether they are a good fit for your situation.
Therapeutic Support for Children
Children may show distress through:
- Behaviours (anger, withdrawal, aggression, clinginess)
- Sleep problems or nightmares
- School changes (attendance, grades, concentration)
- Physical symptoms (stomach aches, headaches)
Therapeutic support for children should:
- Be age-appropriate (play, art, talking, movement)
- Recognise the impact of abuse and conflict
- Work with you as the protective parent
- Not pressure a child to “reconcile” with an unsafe parent
We can help you understand what kind of support is likely to help and how to ask schools, GPs or services for appropriate referrals.
Safety, Confidentiality and Court
Therapy exists to support you — but in the context of court or social care, you also need to be aware of:
- What your therapist may have to share for safeguarding reasons
- How therapy notes may be requested in court proceedings
- How to talk about abuse in a way that is truthful and safe
1VAA can help you think through:
- What to ask the therapist about records and confidentiality
- How to explain the court situation without feeling silenced
- How therapy can support your evidence and safeguarding narrative, rather than undermine it
Free, Low-Cost and Paid Support
Depending on where you live and your circumstances, support may be available through:
- GP and NHS / public health services (waiting lists often apply)
- School or college counsellors and educational psychology
- Domestic abuse charities offering counselling or groups
- Local charities and community projects
- Private therapists (self-funded)
- Chartered or accredited professionals with sliding scale fees
1VAA can help you explore options in your area and think about what is realistic for you financially and practically.
Red Flags in Therapeutic Support
Be cautious if a therapist or service:
- Minimises or questions your experience of abuse without exploring it properly
- Pressures you or your child to have contact with an unsafe person
- Frames everything as “communication issues” or “high conflict”
- Dismisses coercive control, stalking or post-separation abuse
- Makes you feel blamed or shamed for trauma responses
- Threatens to involve agencies in a punitive way rather than a safeguarding way
If therapy feels unsafe or re-traumatising, you are allowed to stop and seek alternative support.
How 1VAA Helps With Therapeutic Support
As a 1VAA member, we can:
- Help you identify what kind of support you and your children might need
- Signpost you towards services that understand domestic abuse and trauma
- Provide questions to ask before you commit to a service
- Help you think through safety, confidentiality and court implications
- Support you in feeding back concerns where services are unsafe or unhelpful
Our focus is always on your safety, your children’s welfare, and ensuring that any therapeutic support works alongside your safeguarding plan.
If You Need Help Right Now
If you or your child are struggling emotionally and you don’t know where to turn, you are not alone.
Register for support or join 1VAA and we will help you explore safe, appropriate therapeutic options that understand abuse and put your children first.