Social Media – How It Can Help & Hinder You

Using social media safely when you are dealing with abuse, court and Children’s Services.

Social media can be a lifeline — a place to find community, information and support. It can also be a weapon used against you by abusers, professionals or the court.

This page explains how social media can help, how it can harm, and what you can do to reduce risk while still staying connected.

We will never tell you to “just get off social media” if that is where your support network is. Our aim is to help you use it strategically and safely.

How Social Media Can Help You

Used carefully, social media can:

Provide emotional support from people who understand
Point you towards resources, charities and legal information
Help you feel less isolated and gaslit
Give you a space to follow campaigners and organisations working for change
Allow you (in some circumstances) to raise awareness about systemic issues

For many survivors, private groups and supportive pages are a vital source of strength.

How Social Media Can Harm You or Your Case

At the same time, posts and messages can be:

Screenshot and used as evidence in court
Misinterpreted or taken out of context by professionals
Monitored by the abuser, their friends or family
Used to accuse you of “parental alienation”, “breaching confidentiality” or “emotional harm”
Seen by Children’s Services and used in assessments and reports

Even private groups are not always safe; anyone can take a screenshot.

General Safety Guidelines for Social Media

To reduce risk, consider:

Avoid posting names, addresses, school details or identifiable locations relating to you or your children
Being cautious about sharing photos in real time (post later or not at all)
Avoiding direct insults or threats towards the other parent or professionals
Not posting details of ongoing court proceedings or confidential documents
Using private messages rather than public posts when asking for sensitive advice
Checking your friend list and removing people who pass information to the abuser
Reviewing your privacy settings regularly

If you are in live court proceedings, anything you post could potentially end up before a judge.

Talking About Your Story Online

You have a right to your story and your truth. But when there are court orders, safeguarding investigations or the in-camera rule, there are real legal risks.

Safer approaches can include:

Talking in general terms about systems and patterns, not naming your ex, your child or your specific case
Avoiding posting court documents, orders or professional reports
Using anonymised details if you are sharing with campaigners or journalists and following legal guidance
Discussing strategy with 1VAA or a legal professional before any high-profile or public campaigning

Your safety, your child’s privacy and your legal position must come before public exposure.

Messaging Apps and Group Chats

WhatsApp, Messenger, Signal, Telegram and similar apps are often where the most sensitive conversations take place.

Things to keep in mind:

Group chats can be screenshot and forwarded without your knowledge
Old conversations may be requested in family or criminal proceedings
“Rant” messages can later be used to paint you as unstable or abusive
Shared photos and voice notes can be misinterpreted

Try to keep sensitive conversations as calm and factual as possible, especially in chats that might be seen by professionals later.

Social Media and Your Children

Professionals may criticise:

Posting about your case in a way that could be seen by your child
Sharing photos that identify them in the context of abuse or court
Arguing with the other parent in public comments

Safer practice includes:

Keeping your child’s identity and school/private life off public platforms
Not involving them in online disputes
Talking to older children about what they post and who can see it

Children should never be used as props in online battles, even when you are desperate to be believed.

Red Flags and Abuser Tactics on Social Media

Abusers may use social media to:

Monitor your posts, friends and check-ins
Send harassment or threats from fake accounts
Smear you in public or private groups
Post a “good parent” or “victim” image to manipulate professionals

Steps you can consider (depending on risk):

Blocking or muting accounts
Screenshotting abusive messages for evidence
Reporting abusive content to the platform
Discussing patterns of online abuse with your legal team or 1VAA

How 1VAA Can Help With Social Media Use

As a 1VAA member, we can:

Help you review your social media use from a safeguarding perspective
Support you to reduce risk without losing all your support network
Look at posts or drafts with you and suggest safer wording
Help you gather and organise evidence of online abuse or harassment
Provide guidance on how your online presence may be viewed by social care or the court

We focus on realistic, non-judgmental support for how you actually live your life online.

If You Need Help Right Now

If you’re worried that something you’ve posted might be used against you, or you’re being harassed or watched online, you do not have to deal with this alone.