Family courts often treat coercive control as “conflict” or “poor communication,” placing children in danger. Here’s why it happens — and how victims can challenge it.

When Family Courts Ignore Coercive Control: The Hidden Crisis Putting Children at Risk

Coercive control is one of the clearest predictors of future harm, including homicide.
It is recognised in law.
It is recognised by criminologists, domestic abuse specialists, and every major safeguarding framework.

And yet:

Family courts across the UK continue to ignore coercive control in thousands of cases every year.

Instead of recognising it as abuse, many judges and professionals:

minimise it
misunderstand it
treat it as “parental conflict”
assume both parents are to blame
punish the protective parent for raising safety concerns

This failure is one of the most dangerous problems in the entire system.

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is not “relationship difficulties.”
It is not “miscommunication.”
It is not “arguments.”

It is a pattern of domination, involving:

intimidation
manipulation
surveillance
threats
isolation
financial control
digital harassment
degradation
gaslighting
emotional blackmail
using children as weapons
legal abuse

Perpetrators don’t need to hit.
They only need to control.

And children living in coercively controlling households experience:

fear
developmental trauma
hypervigilance
anxiety
emotional neglect
chronic stress
long-term psychological harm

Coercive control is child abuse.

But family courts still fail to see it.

Why Family Courts Keep Getting It Wrong

1. Courts expect “evidence of incidents” instead of patterns

Coercive control is a pattern, not a single event but many judges still look only for:

physical injury
police reports
“proof” of one incident

This approach has not changed in 10 years, it is outdated and remains unsafe.

2. Abusers appear calm, confident and “credible”

Meanwhile, protective parents, often traumatised, may appear emotional, dis-regulated or distressed.
Court culture still rewards composure, not truth.

3. Coercive control is often reframed as “high conflict”

This false equivalence blames both parents, even when one is the abuser and the other is trying to protect the child.

4. Reports minimise warning signs

Cafcass and Children’s Services often fail to understand:

DARVO dynamics
stalking escalation
post-separation abuse
coercion by proxy
manipulation of professionals

Abusers are excellent at appearing reasonable.

Sadly, many professionals within this sector are not trauma informed. With only a few local authorities employing clear procedures and process in understanding trauma informed practices.

5. “Contact at all costs” overrides safety

Many courts still prioritise contact over protection, even when a child is frightened, anxious or disclosing harm.

6. Lack of specialist training

Coercive control is still not understood by many professionals responsible for assessing risk.

The Cost of Ignoring Coercive Control

When coercive control is dismissed, the consequences are devastating:

Children forced into unsafe contact

Children are compelled to spend time with a parent they fear and any reluctance is blamed on the protective parent.

Protective parents accused of “alienation”

Abusers weaponise the court process, claiming the victim is “turning the child against them.”

Escalated post-separation abuse

Research shows that the MOST dangerous time for a victim is after separation but courts, social workers, court officials, even legal teams, often refer to the risk as being historic and therefore there is now further risk.

Failure to investigate disclosures

Children who disclose abuse are often told they are lying, coached or confused. Their voices are silenced. Their safety is ignored.

Long-term psychological harm

Trauma, anxiety, self-harm and attachment disruption follow children exposed to coercive control.

Homicide risk increases

Eight-stage homicide timeline patterns are frequently present but dismissed.

This is not theoretical.
This is real.
1VAA sees it every single day.

How Protective Parents Can Challenge Court Failures

Victims often believe they have no power, but they do.

Here’s how 1VAA helps challenge dangerous decisions:

1. Present the pattern, not the incidents

We map coercive control chronologically so courts cannot overlook the behaviour.

2. Provide evidence-led safeguarding analysis

We connect the dots many professionals miss.

3. Rebut flawed or biased assessments

We identify:

unqualified opinions
errors in reasoning
incorrect factual assumptions
coercive control minimisation
safeguarding contradictions

4. Demonstrate post-separation risk

We use recognised frameworks and homicide indicators, producing reports supported by factual, timestamped evidence.

5. Show how the abuser manipulates the legal process

Litigation abuse is a key form of coercion and is recognised within the Domestic Abuse Act.

6. Support parents in communicating safely and strategically

Language, documentation and structure matter, and victims are rarely taught how. We will guide, support and coach you in best practice to manage, not manipulate, the system.